Hello Friends, it has been several long years since I’ve done an honest and personal real post. Oh, I’ve done many posts promoting different events for different people but nothing really personal other than my artwork for a long five years or so as this month will mark five years since my husband Richard of 41 years went to Heaven.
I will be honest and say that God’s grace truly has been sufficient to help my sons and I to try to find some kind of life after their Dad and my best friend who knew me better than anyone, left earth. However, the best way I know how to describe death of a spouse and a Dad to my sons is feeling amputated. When we got married according to God’s Word we became One. So how do you heal when a part of who you were for most of your life is gone? As a family when the head of the family leaves, the remaining unit feels amputated. I’ve heard and read stories of veterans of war who sadly were wounded in battles and had limbs amputated say that even though their limbs were gone, they still could feel the pain of that wound. I feel this is the best way I could express what grief of a spouse, the father of my children, and my best friend truly feels like. At times I still feel his presence but it’s painful not to physically be able to take him by the hand or hear his voice as we catch each other up on our day, or plan our futures together. But this is the consolation that I have, I know He’s in Heaven and that Richard is in mine and my son’s future!
As stated, I’m now five years into this walk only by God’s grace as He’s helped me to still put my hands to something like my art but many things like personal blogging and writing just came to a stop. It wasn’t because I didn’t have plenty to say, but it just felt like I would bleed from an open wound all over everyone if I was honest enough to spew out all I felt. In hind sight God has always used my writing to help me empty my soul, maybe screaming into a blog would have helped me and others who may be grieving to heal. My tears flow freely and I feel I am finally receiving words to empty out my soul. I felt strangled or muted as I’ve always been able to share my wins and even my failures with my husband who was my #1 cheerleader. He was the voice of logic to my wild imagination and creativity.
I really felt excited to actually pour out my heart and to fill a blog posts with words this month as this year also marked a special 10 year anniversary of my #1 Bestselling Book: 5 Steps to Birthing Your Dream a Spiritual Midwife’s Manual! I was in a group meeting with some wonderful Ladies one of which helped me with this book and it dawned on me that this year made 10 years since I wrote and published my first Bestselling book. This book was actually my 5th book that I had written and published, however, because God used it to speak to so many women it was the first one I had that went #1 Bestselling on Amazon. In this book I call out the Sarah’s, Hannah’s, Elizabeth’s and Mary’s who like myself wanted to birth not only children but everything God wanted to birth through us. As I actually picked it back up and read through it again, I felt it was an even more relevant word from Him than ever before, as regardless of our ages or what life has thrown at us, God still wants us to be fruitful and to birth “Holy Things” for His Kingdom!
Will you celebrate this milestone with me? As my gift to you, I am giving my book away free on Amazon for the next 48 hrs!
Get your Free Copy>> HERE: 5 Steps to Birthing Your Dream A Spiritual Midwife’s Manual
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